I spend some time each week with various founders and startup teams to “coach” them. The word is a glorious way of saying having a coffee and discussing issues they are facing. I find there are generally 2 types of startup founders – the coachable and the un-coachable.

The Coachables

The coachable founders are those that understand that this process is not about teaching a particular skill, or outsourcing their problem to me. Coaching is about sharing experiences which may or may not lead to solutions to their problems. I hope to expand their thinking, challenge their ideas and pull them out of their box. Coachable founders tend to listen a lot and consider feedback. They usually accept some some of it, but often challenge my own thinking on the subject. It is one of the reasons why I do it in the first place. They understand my view comes from my specific experience and has to be adapted or developed for their own use. They don’t come for validation – they come to you to mess with their own thinking and to look at a problem from a different perspective.

The Un-Coachables

The un-coachables come for coaching to feel good about themselves. Someone (probably at a co-working space or startup event) told them that they should get a mentor or coach – so they do. But they tend to seek validation instead of a challenge. They talk a lot and listen less, and when you give them feedback  you usually get more of the same. Why their way is the best way and that the circumstances do not allow for a different view on the subject. I usually try to change this mindset but most of the time these founders are stubborn or too insecure to break away from their usual thinking. Coaching is about creating a safe environment to discuss fresh ideas, different perspectives and the hard and sometimes emotional startup life. If the founder is too insecure or too scared to open up to it – I’m wasting his and my time.

So if you want coaching or a mentor – consider what you want from him/her. If you want a pat on the back – go to your mom. If you want to break things and rebuild them again – I am available.